Recoil
by Violet Abri Rose
Summary: You should have made this better. Kurtofsky! First story.
1. Slowly

**A/N Just something I thought of. Should I update?**

_Do you think that was OK? Do you think you should've done that? Stop making me think of you. I have more important things to ponder about, and YOU are not one of them._ Kurt sighed and slowly shut his locker.

_You are not allowed to be in my brain._

It had been two weeks since the "incident", he so lovingly called it. Two weeks tossing and turning in his bed, this mind filled with memories and questions. Two weeks analyzing every shove, _had he held onto my arm a little bit too long? Had he looked into my eyes when he taunted me?_, every word. Two weeks since the kiss.

Kurt slowly paced towards his classroom, shoveling his way through the piles of high schoolers clogging the hallways. He was like a trout, swimming upstream. Dodge, duck, dive, repeat, swim towards the algebra class, avoid all traffic jams.

Then he heard it.

Kurt could always tell when they were coming. He knew their smell and their sounds. Ivory and sweat mixed in with an overdose of Axe spray. Scuffling, yelling, taunting and laughing. The predator stalking its prey, the predators being the football team, the prey being anyone socially below them.

Dave Karofsky, Kurt Hummel.

The same Dave Karofsky who was on the hockey and football team, loves sports and girls, pizza and soda. The all-American teenage boy, with a twist, the twist being that he kissed another boy.

_Don't look at him. Don't do anything. Don't move._

Kurt glanced at the giant before him, the monster with his chapped lips spreading into a dark, evil sneer.

"Sup, fag?"

**Reviews are like butterfly kisses.**


	2. Wishing

**A/N: Well, you liked it, so here's round two. Sorry if you don't like it, I haven't slept in a while. I don't own Glee or anything associated with it. Whole story is in Mr. Kurt Elizabeth Hummel's view**.

_God is a lie. The idea that anyone could save me from this hell is just stupid. God is some fake story parents tell their children to make them feel safer, but in reality, no one hears your prayers or your desperate cries from help. No one._

No one knew how Kurt felt at that moment, surrounded by a bunch of obese teenage boys, the sounds of them breathing before him. Kurt was, at that moment, their prey.

"Why are you in my hallway, fag? In my school, trying to fag up everyone?"

Even after the years and years of taunting, every word still stung. Even more now, after Karofsky had kissed him.

Kurt opened his eyes slowly, looking to the brick faced giant before him, in a way, Karofsky was beautiful. Those eyes, a light hazel color. Wow, he was really handso-

"Hey homo, get the fuck away from me before you rape me."

Kurt braced himself for impact; here it comes, close your eyes.

SLAM.

Kurt sunk into the lockers until the pack left to go to their class, the bell had rung, Kurt was already late, no use in trying to get to algebra on time. He slowly began to climb back onto his feet, looking over the newly forming bruises on his arms. He looked around, noticing that no one was in the long, spindly hallway. He tried to gather his binders from the ground, to no avail; paper had thrown itself across the hall.

"Hummel."

Kurt froze, recognizing the voice behind him. He felt the voice seep into his veins, chill them, freeze them. Kurt slowly turned around to face the imposter.

"What, Karofsky, what do you possibly want? Look!" Kurt pushed up his sleeves to show Dave the bruises on his upper arm, "What could you possibly want from me?"

What was that look?

Loathing?  
Sadness?

What was that?

Kurt stared contently into Dave's eyes, trying to read them.

"Kurt… I'm..."

"What, you're sorry? For what? The sleepless nights where all I can think about it that god-damned kiss? Hmmm? Or are you sorry that I can't function anymore? No closure? Only you shoving me into lockers?"

Kurt looked frantically into the older boys eyes.

"Please, stop, Dave. I just can't do this, please stop this, stop hurting me."

Dave remained lifeless. Why had he even come back to Kurt? To help him?

"This is how it has to be." Dave choked.

**R-R-R-R-R-REVIEW! Review and one teenage girl writing a Glee fanfic will be extremely happy.**


	3. For A Reason

**A/N: Hey there! You liked it! I'm so excited about you readers, you. You guys are so cute. Anyhow, any suggestions about the story? The next chapter might take a while, but I promise it will be good.**

_It had been three weeks ago now. One since he last talked to me. _

Kurt walked through the hallways alone. Alone, surrounded by his friend; lost in their talking and their chattering. There were no reasons left to listen to them. Mercedes went on about some new fashion trend; Tina went on about her weekend with Mike. _Hadn't they noticed I haven't talked yet? _Kurt was so deep in his thoughts after the incident with Karofsky. He missed Karofsky, in a way. Not a loving way, but in a frightening, worrisome way. Dave didn't come to school anymore, his friends had deserted him, and when he did come to school, he was like a ghost. Seep through the hallways. Seep through the classrooms. He seemed to slip past Kurt one too many times. Kurt, only wanting answers. Kurt, who had been so lost lately, had stopped the habit of dressing well, or perfecting his hair.

_Dave, please._

Kurt had resorted to pleading to himself. Practicing what he would say to Karofsky. He hadn't decided for an insult or an apology, or neither. Kurt needed the closure; he needed Dave to explain himself.

The bell rang.

Kurt rushed off to his first class, history, and fell into his seat. He didn't care about history, it was the past, the future was all that he cared about. Kurt zoned out, vaguely listening to the teachers lecture. He needed to escape from the class, and quickly escaped to the bathroom. None of the football kids came to the bathroom during first period, they all slept during their class. Kurt trudged to the sink and looked at himself in the mirror. _It's ok, it's ok. Just get through this. _The bathroom stall opened, some junior walked out, washed his hands, glared at Kurt, and trudged out. Kurt grinned to himself. Everyone seemed to hate him. He ducked out of the bathroom and started back to his class. Some idiot was walking ahead of him, stepping slowly down the hall. Kurt tried to pass him.

Karofsky.

Kurt's head started spinning. In the hour he had been at school he had already been forced into the likes of Karofsky. An hour, 60 minutes, it all came crashing down.

Karofsky.

**Review are like Christmas mornings.**


	4. To Keep Going On

**A/N: I'm still feeling a bit icky, with the winter sicknesses coming in and the holidays, so this will just tide you guys over till I'm fully healed. Sorry if you don't like this, but its just like a little snack. I STILL LOVE YOU GUYSSSS.**

"Karofsky"

"Karofsky"

"Karofsky, don't act like you didn't hear me."

Kurt walked in from of the taller monster.

"Kurt, please go away." Dave had stopped walking and faced Kurt, unsure of what was going to happen. He had been out of it, avoiding Kurt. Because of Kurt, Dave was in ruins; he couldn't eat, sleep, or even think. Kurt needed to leave before he finally just snapped.

"Hey Karofsky," Kurt taunted, with his new found courage. "Hey, wanna talk? Hmm? How about what going on here

"Hummel, get out of my face."

"You're such a wimp. Not going to face me, a 'fag'?"

Kurt was practically bursting with courage. Finally, he could get it out.

"Huh, Karofsky? You dick."

Karofsky had enough. Kurt could see it in his eyes. Kurt wanted him to feel what he felt, the pain, the longing for it to just be over with. Kurt was giving Karofsky what he had gave him.

"Yeah, Karofsky. Go be a fucking homophobe. Act like anyone cares about you, because they don't."

After his show down with the giant, Kurt started off to class, practically gushing with self confidence.

He was wrong.

Karofsky ran after Kurt, slamming him in a locker.

"Hummel, you don't think I see what you see, every day? You think I don't feel fucking horrible and just want to leave? I'm not a fucking emotionless robot. You fucking hurt me."

Kurt stood there, wide eyed. Dave's menacing hands pulled Kurt to the locker, so escape was no option.

"Damn it. You are such a goddamned… FAG."

Kurt's eyes started watering. He had made it through years of tormenting, weeks of depression, days of sadness and feeling like an outcast. But, when some bully that stole his first kiss called him a 'fag', it brought tears to his eyes.

"Kurt…"

"Dave, you've ruined me."

**RRRRRRREVVVVIEEEWWWWWW.**


	5. And, Its you

**A/N- I read all of your reviews. I love you all.**

"I ruined you?" Dave spat. "I ruined you?"

Kurt stood there, wide eyed

"Jesus Christ, you fucking bastard. You destroyed me. You come to school everyday, in your little gay, proud way. I can't go around doing that, and seeing you every FUCKING day makes it worse." Dave was nearly shouting now. Kurt, trying to avoid the commotion, pushed him into the locker room next to them, crushing them next to another locker.

Dave resumed. "All you do is take, take, take. You take my emotions, my life, my reasons and you're always THERE to reminding me that I'm not as fucking good as you." He paused, to let it all sink into Kurt.

"So, there Kurt. You got what you fucking wanted. You destroyed me."

Dave began to walk out of the dingy, sweat stained room. Tears were filling his eyes, unbeknownst to the teenage giant. He was too angry to care about his swelling eyes.

"Dave."

Kurt just stood there. He was so shocked by this sudden boom of emotion. It made him want to cry more than he had already today. They had both broken down the emotional wall; the thing that kept them both from crying everyday at the sight of one another; the thing that had been the wall.

"Dave, look at me."

"No."

"Dave."

Dave slowly turned around, the tears dripping from his eyes seeping into his skin.

"Dave…"

Kurt stepped towards him. His fingers brushed against his cheeks, wiping the tears away.

"It's ok, now. It's ok."

Dave began crying, letting go of all his emotions. He cried big, soft sobs. He wiped away the tears that clung to his chin. "It's ok now, Dave." Kurt tried to hold the bigger boy, and failed.

"Let me kiss you."

"Dave, I don't kno-"

"Please, Kurt."

Before Kurt could reply Dave pushed his lips to the other boys. He kissed out the pain, the sadness. It was slow, passionate. Kurt gave in and kissed back. Hands gripping on Dave's hair, pulling it closer to him. Dave planted sloppy, wet kisses all over Kurt's face. Dave stopped, both boys heavily breathing, crammed in a small space next to two lockers. The only sound was the rise and fall of their chests.

Kurt ran his hands through Dave's hair.

They kept breathing heavily.

In.

Out.

In.

Out.

"What next?"

**DUN DUN DUNNNN. Should I GO ON? Or just add an epilogue? Review it and tell me what you want.**

**Reviews are like eating warm cookies.**


	6. I

**A/N: Hey there! Well, for the holidays, I'm unraveling ZE BIG CHAPTAR OR ALL CHAPTARZZ. It will be amazing. This is the little story-snack.**

"I can't go back to my class."

"I'll get you out. Just fake sick. No one cares if I come to school anyway."

"Meet me in the parking lot in five minutes."

Kurt quickly paced to his classroom. He pushed open the creaky wooden door. The whole class had their eyes on him. He walked over to the teacher and cleared his throat.

"Mrs. Ryan? I'm not feeling so wonderful. I think I'm going to be sick." Kurt pleaded. Mrs. Ryan was a softy. She let anything slip by her. Kurt pasted a fake queasy look on his face and she gave in. "Here," she handed him a blue slip. "Do you need to call anyone?" Kurt shook his head no and quickly ran out of the class, dashed out to his locker and pulled out his bag.

_Dave._

Kurt ran out to the parking lot. Dave was standing there by his beat up, old red truck. It was an ugly thing; it had been through storms, fights, but also paint jobs and fix ups. It was like Dave himself. Broken, but then patched back up.

Kurt ran to him and threw his arms around him. Dave, startled, drew back a bit, then wrapped his arms around the smaller boys waist. Kurt rested his head on Dave's chest. Kurt was completely wrapped in Dave. Kurt was just a measly 5'6, and Dave was a gigantic 6'4.

"Take me somewhere, your house?"

Dave obliged.

They pulled into Dave's driveway. It was a huge house, larger than Kurt had expected. Dave opened the door.

_Skipping school with the guy who bullied you for 5 years, good job, Kurt, this is probably a trick._

Kurt walked into the spacious living room and sat down on the grey, fading couch.

"This shouldn't be happening."

Dave sat down on the seat across from Kurt, with a questioning look on his face.

"What?"

Kurt shifted in his seat.

"Right now, I should be in history, talking about some dead king, being bored. You should be hanging out in the gym, talking to the rest of your idiot friends. This should not be happening. We shouldn't have kissed. We shouldn't have…" Kurt trailed off, too preoccupied with the ticking clock in front of him.

Dave moved next to Kurt.

"Kurt. Come here," he ordered. Kurt moved next to him, only to be wrapped in Dave's arms again. What once would have been frightening, was now comforting, it was like a home.

"Today's been too much of a whirl wind. You're tired, take a nap." Dave was forceful, but kind in a way.

Kurt was suddenly tired.

Dave, the bully, the Neanderthal, was holding him, and it never felt so right.

**I will be updating on Christmas Day or later, I promise.**

**Reviews are like unwrapping presents.**

**CRINKLECRINKLEWRAPPINGPAPER.**


	7. Love

**A/N: Yes, I suck. I said that I would have this out by Christmas, but I got SEEERRIOUSSSSLYYY sidetracked.**

**OK! Now, onto the chapter.**

Kurt woke up, a bit frightened by what was going on. Dave was holding him, also asleep. Kurt pushed himself out of his arms. Dave woke up, smiling.

"Please don't hurt me," Kurt whimpered, hiding behind a pillow. David's face twisted into a look of disgust and anger. Kurt backed up farther away from him.

"Kurt… I would never hurt you. I'm over that. Its ok, it's safe. I'll never hurt you anymore," Dave explained. "I really care about you." Kurt moved in a bit closer. This was all very new to him. He hadn't even kissed another guy before Karofsky. Kurt was so nervous about what would happen.

He had to look inside himself.

Kurt really did care about David too, even though Dave had abused him all throughout his high school career. Dave didn't want what he wanted. Kurt wanted to be loved, to be cared for. Dave maybe wanted a good fuck, maybe make out a few times, go back to girls in college. Kurt wanted to be in love.

"Dave," Kurt moved a bit closer to Dave, and began playing with Dave's fingers. "Dave… What do you want from this relationship… If I was to be with you…"

"Kurt," Dave gently pushed Kurt's chin, so their eyes met, "I want to be with you forever. We can take this at your pace; I just want to be with you."

Kurt was still skeptical about Dave's plea. He took a deep breath. "I don't want to be with you if all you want to do is fuck me." Dave sighed. He seemed unhappy, which made Kurt nervous. Kurt was used to disappointing people, getting hurt, but still, Kurt cringed at the sigh.

"Kurt Elizabeth Hummel, I don't want to fuck you. When you're ready, I want to make love to you, and I don't plan to be doing that for a while. I just want you, with me, forever."

"Forever isn't high school."

"I don't plan for it to be."

Everything was silent for a while. It was a nice silent, the sound of everything settling. Dave gently pushed his lips to Kurt's. He felt horrible, kissing Kurt just reminded him that only a month ago, he was pushing his new love into lockers, making a personal hell for him. Dave suddenly pushed away.

"I'm sorry for hurting you," Dave started. He needed to get this out of his system. "I hurt you so bad, I was mostly mad at myself for hurting you." His voice quivered.

Kurt curled back up in Dave's arms.

"I don't care about the past; all we have to too forward to is the future." Kurt mumbled.

"I might love you."

"I might love you too."

**EPILOUGE COMING.**

**Review! I love you all for waiting.**


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